Hello Reader ♥,

Black Friday is in two weeks, and I know what's happening. Your inbox is already filling up with early access deals, and somewhere in your mind, you're doing the math.

Can I afford this? Should I buy this? What if Mom needs help next week? What if there's a family emergency and I just spent $200 on myself?

I used to do the same thing. I'd skip Black Friday entirely, telling myself I was being "responsible." Then I'd watch everyone else enjoy the sales while I felt resentful and deprived. Or I'd shop anyway and feel guilty about every single purchase.

Neither felt good. And honestly? Neither was actually responsible—it was just me not having a system that worked with my reality.

Can We Talk About Why That "Set a Budget" Advice Is Useless?

Every personal finance article says the same thing: "Set a Black Friday budget before shopping. Decide how much you'll spend, stick to your number, avoid impulse purchases."

Great advice—if you're only managing your own finances.

But we're not, are we? We're managing our household, our parents' needs, our kids' expenses, family obligations that always seem to pop up, and an emergency fund that's still not where it should be.

So when someone says "just set a budget," what they're really asking us to do is take money that might need to go to three other people and spend it on ourselves instead. And then we wonder why it feels impossible to follow through.

The choice becomes: skip Black Friday entirely because spending on yourself feels selfish, or shop anyway and carry guilt about every purchase because what if someone needs that money next week?

I'm tired of those being our only options.

Here's What Actually Works

If you've set up your Bridge System, you already know exactly how much you can spend on Black Friday. No guilt, no stress, no mental gymnastics.

Your Freedom Bridge is money you allocated specifically to spend on yourself. It's not "leftover" money. It's not "extra" money after everyone else is taken care of. It's money you set aside on purpose, for yourself, as part of your complete financial system.

If your Freedom Bridge has $200 this month, your Black Friday budget is $200. If it has $50, your budget is $50. If it's $0, your budget is $0.

That's it. No complicated calculations. No wondering if you "should" be spending this. You already decided when you set up your allocations.

How to Check Your Actual Number Right Now

Look at your Freedom Bridge balance. If you've automated it, you have a separate account for personal spending. Check what's there.

Subtract what you've already spent this month. Coffee out, that dinner with friends, the massage you needed—it all came from your Freedom Bridge. Subtract it.

What's left is your Black Friday budget. Not what you wish you could spend. Not what the sales are trying to make you spend. What's actually there and available.

Shop within that number or don't shop at all. Both are fine. Both are responsible. Neither requires justification.

Okay But What If My Freedom Bridge Is Zero?

I see you. You're reading this and realizing your Freedom Bridge doesn't really exist. Or technically it exists but you keep redirecting that money to family every single month.

Here's something I need you to hear: You can't sustain supporting multiple generations if you never spend money on yourself.

I know that sounds backwards. Shouldn't we be more responsible by never spending on ourselves?

No. Because here's what actually happens: You skip personal spending month after month, telling yourself you're being good. Then resentment builds. And resentment destroys relationships and financial boundaries way faster than buying yourself a Keurig ever could. ☕

If your Freedom Bridge is consistently zero because family needs keep taking priority, that's not a spending problem. That's a boundary problem. Black Friday won't fix it, but it's a good reminder that something needs to change.

How to Actually Decide What to Buy

Once you know your Freedom Bridge balance, here's how I think through purchases:

Is this something I actually need? Winter coat falling apart? Work shoes with holes? Replacing something broken? These aren't indulgences—they're practical purchases that would happen eventually anyway.

Will this genuinely make my life better or bring me joy? The hobby supplies I've been eyeing. The kitchen gadget that makes cooking easier. The book I want to read. Quality headphones for my commute. These aren't frivolous—they're investments in not feeling depleted all the time.

Will I use this in the next three months? Sales create urgency, but urgency doesn't create necessity. If I won't use it until next year, I skip it even if the discount is amazing.

Does it fit within my Freedom Bridge allocation? If yes, I buy it and enjoy it guilt-free. If no, I save it for next month when my Freedom Bridge refills.

The Thing Nobody Tells Us

Black Friday shopping isn't irresponsible when you're using money you already allocated for yourself.

You know what's actually irresponsible? Never allocating anything for yourself, running on empty for months or years, and then making impulsive purchases out of pure deprivation—purchases that actually do derail your financial goals.

I used to think spending on myself was selfish. Then I realized being so depleted that I resent everyone around me is worse. For everyone.

Your Freedom Bridge exists so you can enjoy your success without guilt. Black Friday is just one opportunity to use it—no more special than any other personal spending throughout the year.

Before the Sales Start

Check your Freedom Bridge balance right now. Know your actual number. Then shop (or don't shop) within that.

If your number is lower than you'd like, that's useful information. Maybe your Freedom Bridge allocation needs to increase. Maybe your other bridges need adjusting. Maybe you need to have some conversations before December hits.

But for this Black Friday, work with what you've got. Spend your Freedom Bridge allocation guilt-free, or save it for later. Both choices honour your complete financial reality—not just whatever's on sale in your inbox.

Know your number, enjoy the sales,

P.S. Don't have your Bridge System set up yet? Get the Bridge Spending Plan and calculate your Freedom Bridge allocation before Black Friday hits. You'll know exactly what you can spend guilt-free—on sales or any other time. Get the Bridge Spending Plan.​